Don’t give up on your dreams! Sleep in.
Today’s HOT LIST Link ( click the pretty blue link below to see today’s picks ):
$2,169,000
6240 E BAR Z LN, Paradise Valley, AZ
“Home currently lived in as is.”
Survivability: Good. 5,600 sq ft, single level Fixer-Upper on one of the most prestigious streets in Paradise Valley, for a fraction of the cost of neighboring homes.
Do you buy it, or do you prefer to stay married? Are you handy with a credit card? If you’re more Kim and Chloe, rather than Chip and Joanna, or if you actually believe HGTV when they tell you the kitchen was remodeled under budget in less than three lifetimes, this home is not for you. Look away.
Welcome to another edition of House Hunters Unprofessional!
Brandon is a part-time color scheme designer for blog posts, Zoe works 1 hour per month teaching online decoupage classes for the blind, their budget is limitless because this is TV. They’ve found an excellent $2 million cash only sale in the celebrity littered center of Paradise Valley. This opportunity is being sold “as-is, no contingencies”, which really means “No Inspections”. Brandon tells Zoe, “The rainbow can be better than the pot of gold at its end”. So grab some popcorn and open an ice cold can of Bud Light, their handbasket to Hell is boarding right now!
You’ve got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, and know when to RUN.
This deal is for professional gamblers only.
$500,000
1878 S 173RD DR, Goodyear, AZ
“stylish interior where no surface has gone untouched”
Stylish. We think this word does not mean what you think it means! The eco-tinted garage doors are a strobe worthy Warning sign of the Crayola creature lurking Behind the Green Doors. Inside we meet an interior colored like Kermit the Frog choking out a Smurf. This H.R. Pufnstuff autopsy continues room by room, in a color wheel spinning game of one-upsmanship you can play at home by poking your own retinas with assorted colored pencils. Beyond this bobbing for Skittles kaleidoscope culmination we find….hang on….eyewash, scrub, steel wool….ah…we find numerous upscale upgrades; full tile bathroom surrounds, reflective surface appliances, and a rather amazing outdoor kitchen area.
There’s tremendous bang for the buck at this house, and a Sherwin-Williams store just two minutes away!
H.R. Pufnstuf, who’s your friend when things are rough?
H.R. Pufnstuf, can’t do a little ‘cause he can’t dop enough.
Reference Guide for Millennials: https://youtu.be/obxfuFrUTzg
Flashback: A kid’s show based on the premise of a small boy getting into a stranger’s vehicle. They don’t make them like that anymore!
$835,000
5839 W DESPERADO WAY, Phoenix, AZ
“Start living your best life”
What are you implying?
In the Stetson Hills property value system, the properties are represented by two separate yet unequal groups; the houses that back directly to the Stetson Hills, and the houses that absolutely do not. These are their stories.
This house sides and backs up to the hillside, next to the park trail, while sitting on an empty cul de sac circle for parking in-the-round. Ideal, elevated, hillside lot. This is a Nine on the Stetson Scale. The interior is deliciously updated with digestible colors and expensive surfaces. Every bedroom enjoys its own bathroom. Worth noting that the third garage bay is an extended version, thus one could use that extra space to extend the adjoining bedroom, creating a double master suite residence.
This type of home is not for everyone. It’s only for people who enjoy upscale living in a scenic location while immersed in quality and versatility. Let’s be honest, living on Desperado Way is just the coolest address ever in the history of ever.
Desperado, my how you uplift my senses
With a view out your fences where the sun sets down
Oh, you’ve got hard wood
Your kitchen cabinets are staggered
We better not tell Mick Jagger
That Satisfaction’s been found
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