As scarce as truth is, the supply is always in excess of demand
Today’s HOT LIST Link ( click the pretty blue link below to see today’s picks ):
$4,560,000
7115 E SUNNYVALE RD, Paradise Valley, AZ
“you are welcomed by Warmth and Luxury with the soothing color pallet.”
One imagines two gruff 350lb longshoremen named Warmth and Luxury forklifting a pallet of 50-gallon paint barrels….if one knows the difference between “pallet” and “palette”.
Let’s review:
Palette is an artist’s paint color board
Pallet is that creaky crate bottom you forgot to return to Home Depot
Palate is where bad meals leave a bad taste.
Palatial means King sized
Pilates is yoga for masochists
We don’t typically wave the Webster’s word wand at Listings because, let’s be honest, most professional Realtors struggle with spelling out a nametag correctly. Many Agents read Stop signs out loud. Look, if this industry had competency standards I’d be out of a job. However, somewhere over the four-million dollar rainbow one assumes a Speak N Spell enters the budget picture. We kan’t weight two cell this jiant howse!
This unnecessary interlude sponsored by Texas Instruments.
The craftsmanship in this home is in-peckable…STOP IT…take a good long glance at the Cantera stone columns, archways, and surrounds. That stone was meticulously hand carved by artisans gifted in old school craftsman techniques, a punctilious performance you will not find in the brand new homes of our modern era. From the custom wrought iron pieces strewn throughout, to the vigorously artistic ceiling and wall treatments, this palatial estate’s palatableness is pleasantly palpable!
$388,500
12406 W ALLEGRO DR, Sun City West, AZ
“More than $10,000 into the backyard.”
Is the $10,000 buried? Do we find it with a treasure map? Does the letter ‘X” finally serve a purpose?
A: Next!
X: Hi, I’m the letter X
A: Welcome to the Alphabet Employment Agency X, what’s your skill?
X: Well, I can imitate the letter Z
A: That job’s taken. What else?
X: I can sing a K and S duet
A: And put two other letters out of work?
X: Look man, I’m 24th in line, I need work!
A: Calm down, we’ll find you something. Wait over there.
X: Where?
A: See the X on the floor?
X: This is degrading
A: Alright X. I found some work. You’re going to become…Christmas for atheists.
X: WTF?
A: Those letters already have jobs.
X: Figures.
A: Look, I can get you into the Hospital Radiology department. There’s an opening in Tic Tac Toe. Check over in the Math department, they might have multiple positions for you.
X: But these jobs hold no value!
A: (sigh) Fine. Take this map, follow the trail to the end, wait right there.
There are pictures here of the backyard and either Captain Jack Sparrow owns a landscaping company, or someone hired Congress to pass the backyard budget. They say money doesn’t grow on trees, but it doesn’t appear to plant any either. The real Treasure here is the house itself, with over 3,000 sq ft that’s been partitioned into a fleet of hobby rooms. $122 per ft is unheard of in this market, and it’s an especially rare price point to find in a home not currently on fire. This lot features no rear neighbors and it’s located on the east side of Sun City West, which provides balance!
$1,290,000
2210 ENCANTO DR NE, Phoenix, AZ
“Or turn one in a game room, an office, a gym, or a study!”
Turn one what? Turn a new leaf? Turn a corner? Turn a point?
To everything – turn, turn, turn
There is a season – turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under heaven
This 1940 built bungalow was previously owned by Senators and Celebrities, it’s been the literal Belle of the Balls, and features the state’s First Ever Indoor Pool. That pool has since been covered over and converted into an underground movie theater with a hidden bookshelf door and theater-esque sloping floor. You can still see the old pool depths tiled onto the walls. It’s one of the absolute coolest features we’ve ever personally witnessed in a house.
BACK WHEN I SOLD THIS HOUSE TO THE CURRENT OWNERS, for pennies on the dollar.
One million dollars later some other Real Estate Agent is listing this property and I just want to make it perfectly clear that this awkward circumstance did not hurt….(sniffle, snort, tear drop…plop…) one bit. OUCH.
YEE + OUCH x One Million = Me
Hey, thanks for the assist letter X!
I would have done something crazy with this listing anyhow. Like a huge viral cinematically superior video production, majestic drone shots, an avalanche of professional photography, room descriptions torn from the pages of Architectural Digest (probably), and a bombardment of LOOK AT THIS!!! marketing aimed squarely at every Agent that’s ever shown a property in Palmcroft…heck I might even spell “chiminea” correctly. Who wants that kind of service?
I’m just the dude playin the dude disguised as another dude, who once negotiated the purchase of this house for $460,000…the best deal in the last twenty years of Palmcroft sales….(sigh)….and the dude who didn’t even get to interview for this listing job.
I, Stanley Fosha, of somewhat sound mind and body, am a dedicated servant in the service business. I am here to serve you. Whether you need to Buy a house for the least amount possible in the current circumstances or Sell a house for the highest amount ever achieved…I AM AVAILABLE! ALWAYS, FOR YOU. Use me. Please.
Lean on me,
when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend,
I’ll help you carry on
Unless On is super heavy.
Ok, an owl just splashed down in my pool outside…DUTY CALLS!
Not kidding…what a strange world…
9-23-21-before
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