Time is precious, waste it wisely.
Today’s HOT LIST Link ( click the pretty gold link below to see today’s picks ):
$4,995,000
37183 N 104TH PL, Scottsdale, AZ
“flamed basalt stone cladding on the columns plays off both the flamed basalt edge detail on the pool and the chiseled edge basalt detail on the spa”
Basalt is of course an aphanitic extrusive igneous rock formed from the rapid cooling of low-viscosity lava, rich in magnesium and iron, an essential part of a balanced daily breakfast, which is chemically equivalent to the slow-cooling, lava flows of coarse-grained gabbro found on Mars and Venus. Everyone knows this.
Realtor: These columns are made of flamed basalt!
Moron: Excuse me, Mr. make believe Realtor person, if all basalt is lava rock, then calling it “flamed” is sort of fire retardant, right?
I have no idea how much bath-salt rock costs but importing it from Venus must involve stratospheric shipping charges. This home has enough of the stuff to form a small moon, with rock climbing walls going this way and that, leading to phenomenal views which are wrapped in walls of ‘flamed’ glass, a non-crystalline amorphous solid formed by the rapid cooling of its molten form. Never take geology for granite!
Pic #51: Welcome to the Powder room! Powder is a dry, bulk solid composed of many very fine particles that may flow freely when shaken and then find every crevasse in the kitchen. Lookin at you unbleached Flour! Human beings call this room the ‘Powder Room” because the other P verbs used to describe the comings and goings that transpire in here were a bit too descriptive. Notice the backlit onyx, a parallel banded variety of the silicate mineral chalcedony, which is hiding the toilet. Look in the mirror and you can see the shy commode peeking out from behind the Kenmore sized sink.
That toilet faces a floor to ceiling wall of glass, which looks out to the yard. You sit on the toilet, and look out to the yard, which looks back.
Can you think of a better method to dissuade people from pooping at your house?
Smart design. Bravo!
Fff-whoosh!!!
$699,999.99
34705 N 24TH AVE, Phoenix, AZ
“A bonus rec room that is just amazing.”
We just needed witnesses. This dungeon’s starry sky ceiling and walls of backlit blue are Bluetooth controlled and can be programmed to react to sound, changing color and twinkle rate with the beat of the movie for maximum seizure inducement. For those of you who have asked us to find you a Clockwork Orange meets Abu Ghraib home entertainment room with life sized mannequin ticket taker, WELL TODAY IS THAT DAY!
$2,500,000
24038 N 84TH ST, Scottsdale, AZ
“main house (3,300 sqft), guest houses (1,200 sqft) and garage space for 11 cars”
Compound Interest! Grab the satellite photo and zoom out. This 2.2 Acre lot is actually 4.4 Acres (the second 2.2 Acre lot is available, make an offer). That’s 4.4 Acres right off Pinnacle Peak and Pima, one of the prettiest parts of North Scottsdale. This is a man’s world, built for the guy who has everything but half a dozen decapitated cows, a fleet of dirt bikes, ATVs, camping accessories, workshop, dojo, in home masseuse, and a questionable supply of candles. That guy.
As you can see from the aerial photos this 4.4 acres has been converted into an active motocross park. Motocross is where men on motorized bikes go around a dirt track, and around it again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, until the bike runs out of fuel or death ensues. This means your new neighbors will provide you with a lifetime supply of lasagna and macaroni salad as gratitude for finally allowing them to sleep in on weekends!
THANK YOU!!!
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