Why am I the only naked person at the gender reveal party?
Today’s HOT LIST Link ( click the pretty gold link below to see today’s picks ):
$8,950,000
27572 N 103RD ST, Scottsdale, AZ
“journey through mature landscape and over a vine-covered bridge to the formal car park.”
Formal car park? Does this mean we have to keep a tie and jacket hanging in the driveway? Over the river and through the wood, this esteemed Estancia estate is “thoughtfully designed”, in lieu of randomly tossing walls and rooms about at the roll of the dice. Flagstone floors, saguaro ribbed ceilings, and more faux surfaces than a plastic surgeon’s waiting room provide a Native aesthetic. This is exactly how Geronimo lived! Probably. No detail was undercharged, or overlooked, the authenticity runs seamlessly the entire concourse until we get to that outdoor wall and fence.
The Apache didn’t have either of those items. Oopsy.
This is an Estancia golf course tee box lot, shoved away from the hiking trails of Pinnacle Peak onlookers, enjoying Troon Mountain and Pinnacle Peak Views out every perfectly placed window. Absolutely gorgeous at every glance as they parked this titanic teepee on a rock star lot. The cigar store Indian guarding the pool is a reminder that this land is sacred, ancient, and demands we respect it. After stealing it of course.
True Story: On his 90th birthday Chief “Two Eagles” was asked to assess how America had used the lands once belonging to his people. He sat back, took a puff, and explained, “When white man first find land, Indian running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all camp work, Medicine Man free, Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night making babies.”
Then the Chief leaned back and smiled, “Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve a system like that.”
$450,000
11582 W JEFFERSON ST W, Avondale, AZ
“New paint in the living room/hallway/stairs”
We should have put a Disclaimer on today’s List to wear eye protection, as several DIY daredevils created interiors best appreciated by the blind. Please know we do dollar factor the fearsome follies of these HGTV stunt doubles into the value whenever we encounter Fixer Uppercuts, such as a kitchen tiled like a NASCAR finish line flag (you’ll find that later on today’s list). We don’t assume future Buyer’s will want to live in the Seller’s checkered past.
This home on Jefferson is in a design class by itself.
Some creative licenses may need to be revoked. This home opens into a Mr. Miagi Dojo. Upon entry one can imagine Cato Fong leaping from behind a mirrored wall for a surprise attack, side kick, wrist block, Flip! WHAM! Don’t worry. The floor is padded in the shade “nosebleed”. If we survive the welcome gauntlet, or get flung Morpheus-to-Neo style through the wall opening, we live to meet the Odysea Aquarium next door. Here we find walls that read like a Jaws menu with floors that are…. Caribbean Clean, now we’re living the same dream, and our hearts can beat as one.
There’s enough Martial Arts trophies in this house to shame Bruce Lee. I hesitate to comment further for fear of throwing stars or bamboo darts sailing in from the cooling vents. Lesson being we are all humans. Each unique. Each an original edition. One of a kind. We don’t all live the same lifestyle. The greatness of America is this diversity of these lifestyles. This family of Ninjas sleep sans mattresses and wakes to a home filled with exercise equipment, punching bags, and surprise attacks. These are badasses! That massive interior stove suggests they burn more calories than Michael Phelps swimming the Atlantic. (There’s a second stove outdoors)
That’s simply awesome! Love this. When the end of the world arrives, be it zombie apocalypse, foreign invaders, or Covid Heinz 57 , these are the neighbors we need!
As for the house: It can be repainted for whatever weird way you want to live life yourself. Be like water my friend.
$4,100,000
4455 E CALLE DEL NORTE –, Phoenix, AZ
“full size wine refrigerator and drink drawers”
I thought drink drawers were the stained pants my wife makes me put on before opening the second bottle of red. We drove by this home last weekend while showing Arcadia, just as the landscapers were polishing off the yard. Had a feeling this was coming to market. At first glance this house looks like the set of a Bartles and Jaymes ad, blending a down-hominess appeal with the splendor of grandeur. Camelback Mountain lingers over the front yard like a bodyguard, inviting you to take a seat by the requisite Arcadia front yard fire pit. This one might actually get used.
Inside they’ve installed the Chip and Joanna script to perfection. Every detail you’d expect to find in a Restoration Hardware magazine spread is here; plank flooring, contrasting walls of dark and light, and enough shiplap to patch the S.S. Minnow. Why? Because it works. Every generation’s latest trend is the next generation’s point-and-laugh theme party. Years from now the black to white contrast, antiqued brass pulls, bold tile splash, open concept, farmhouse chic HGTV template will act as a 2020-ish calling card, much the way an avocado colored oven screams 1975.
Until then….enjoy the moment. This is grand!
HOT LIST EXCLUSIVE
Red Hawk Garage Suites has achieved Final Approval and is breaking ground this month. These are concrete and steel luxury garages that can house RVs, car collections, Off Road fleets, or whatever your needs dictate. You own the garage condo as a piece of commercial property. You can customize the garage with everything from bathrooms to bars. We have been taking reservations all year in anticipation of the Approval, which finally arrived. When that first tractor arrives on site, this project will go gangbusters.
See all of the details for the project on the website at https://www.redhawkgaragesuites.com/
I’m head of the Sales Team for Red Hawk. If you’re interested in learning more, or know someone who might be, contact me asap. The window in is closing soon. I would love to have more of “My People” in the mix for what is shaping up to be a crazy community of car and recreation enthusiasts. The cast of characters we have as Buyers thus far is incredible. Care to join? Call me.
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