Home is where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.
Today’s HOT LIST Link ( click the pretty gold link below to see today’s picks ):
$2,200,000
5670 N Echo Canyon DR, Phoenix, AZ
“This private lot is the furthest lot sitting right at the base of the mountain”
This word “furthest”, I do not think it means what you think it means. Closest, Nearby, Adjoining, Bordering, Siding, Flanking, there was a plethora of adjectives to describe how this mountainside monster home is literally on-the-mountainside. They picked the furthest one. When you teeter out the back door of the single level sanctuary your foot lands on the Camel’s head. You can’t get any closer without mining gear. What do we look for first and foremost in any property purchase? The lot. You can knock down the house and rebuild a new one. You can never change the lot. This lot right here, it’s worth the purchase price.
FREE HOUSE!
The interior features more age spots than Ed Asner’s liver. Floor tile with less matches than Naomi Osaka, cabinetry from the Chrysler LeBaron era, and wrought iron railing that appears to have been stripped from the bridge of the Enterprise, the place screams “Update!” louder than the U.S. Military’s Exit Strategy. And nobody cares. With this location the house could be on fire. Spectacular!
$749,900
26216 N 54TH AVE, Phoenix, AZ
“Come home to some of the most beautiful views in the Valley!!”
“The most beautiful views in the Valley” is a pretty bold claim from a listing that, as of this writing, features ONE single solitary photo. One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do, and it’s also a bizarrely popular photo content count with New listings. Is there a backlog at the digital photo print shop? How does One Photo even happen? Did the agent drive to the property, slap the gear shifter in neutral, drop and roll, snap a pic, then dive back into the vehicle and speed off?
WTF? Wednesday, Thursday, Friday!
Here’s a handy method to work around the lack of work performed. Click the the Detail tab of the Listing, then click the History tab. For this Listing we see Seven previous Listings as this home’s been passed around like a Backstreet Boy in a prison riot. Click on the most recent Listing, 2018 in this case, and VOILA! We have photos….no….we do not…..WTF? Wednesday, Thursday, Friday!
Your link does not provide the old photos? My system shows the old pics. Your link does not. I just learned something. You mean this Real Estate License comes with perks? Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it.
If you ever come across a listing that’s one photo deep, and you’re interested in seeing more, just e-mail me a request. I can send you the previous listings of the property, directly, which usually contain a vast array of photos.
$11,995,000
5629 E JOSHUA TREE LN, Paradise Valley, AZ
“fire and water features, harmoniously create an ambiance of relaxation and beauty”
We call that steam. One glance at the firewater obstacle course encompassing this backyard and “relaxation” is the last word that comes to mind. This is a death trap! Outwit. Outplay. Outlast! The grounds span two lots. Two lots that are retrofitted with weapons grade landscaping and more tripping hazards than the Three’s Company condo. Every bush is armed to its sharpened teeth with Ginsu daggers, poisonous spikes, making a trip to the pool more nerve racking than a liquor run in Kabul. Survivors of the botanical gauntlet are met by walls of fire, pits of fire, fire walks of fire, this place has more flames than the American Bandstand dancers. If you manage to Mario Bros. your way across the multi-tiered patios, multi-tiered pools, dodging randomly place skull spikes and fallen comrades, you might reach the outdoor bar…
Strychnine Daquiri?
Highway to the Danger Zone. The further on the edge, the hotter the intensity. Amazing home.
0 Comments