Luck is what you have left after you gave 100%.
Today’s HOT LIST Link ( click the pretty blue link below to see today’s picks ):
$4,250,000
4218 N 57TH WAY, Phoenix, AZ
“Newport chic Arcadia Proper stunning coastal new build.”
“Yes, I’d like to order the word salad.”
Did I see “coastal” in there? Hold up. Arizona got a beach!?! When did this happen?
[checks map]
Dang it, California is still there. Of all the luck!
This “new build” house is only three years old, ahem, and features every trendy Chip on Joanna design element you can shake a Thesaurus at. There’s half-an-Oregon’s worth of wide plank flooring, the black-white-brown color scheme of a Starsky and Hutch bank robbery crew, and more shiplap than a regatta in a pond. This is the tried and true modern-natural-generic equation that adds up to a coin jingling sale, while tapping down the last mound of dirt on originality’s grave.
Originality is a liability in today’s world. Veer from the prescribed color scheme that’s sent down from the HGTV/Architectural Digest heavens, in tablet form of course, and you tumble right off the trendline into the discount bin. You become the guy on Wheel of Fortune who asks “Is there an F, as in pharaoh?”. Original, but no trip to the ceramic rooster prize showcase. This house is gorgeous. It has every element you would expect from an Arcadian jewelry box. White paint. Black window casings. More exposed natural wood than Jeffrey Toobin on a Zoom call.
This is The Way.
CH CH CH CH
AH AH AH AH
$411,000
10127 W RAYMOND ST, Tolleson, AZ
“two-story cul-de-sac home offers a patio, and a two-car garage.”
OpenDoor’s property descriptions are to advertising what mask mandates are to societal unity. We threw an offer at an OpenDoor property just yesterday and stepped in a big steaming pile of Déjà vu….whoa, did we talk about this before?
If it happens once, it’s coincidence. When it happens twice, it’s a pattern. I logged in at 1:20pm to the OpenDoor Agent portal, launched my client’s offer into the OpenDoorisphere’s exhaust port, and received the immediate ‘Offer Under Review’ notification. Ding! Well done monkey, eat a biscuit. OpenDoor’s portal shows you how many offers have been submitted on each property and our Offer was the Only offer in the pneumatic tube.
One. Hour. Later.
Another notification arrives announcing there are now multiple Offers on the property. ‘The Property’ is enjoying day #22 languishing on market, with ZERO offers over the span of those 22 days. Yet within the tight circle of 60 minutes The Property receives multiple Offers! If it happens once, it’s coincidence. When it happens twice, it’s a pattern.
The Déjà vu portion of the program occurred three weeks ago when the exact same scenario played out on a different property. Sent the Offer in. The ONLY Offer in existence. Within one hour there were multiple offers. If it happens once, it’s coincidence. When it happens twice, it’s a pattern.
So what’s going on at OpenDoor?
As we’ve detailed here for over a month, OpenDoor has been slashing its property prices, in Costco bulk increments, every Friday going back to July 4th weekend. That secret is no longer secret. OpenDoor’s web portal allows you to peek in on ANY property in their database to see if Offers have been submitted. As a property Buyer YOU need to be aware that any OpenDoor property you may be interested in, has possibly already drawn a parade of other interested fans. Fans who are silently stalking it, waiting for that Friday price drop, but are checking the Offers count with the regularity of a chihuahua guarding the front window.
Make an Offer on an OpenDoor property and you may trigger several other fence sitters to jump into the ring with their own Offers. This is the algorithm world everyone asked for! Welcome to Fight Club. OpenDoor bidding wars are a feature, not a bug.
CH CH CH CH
AH AH AH AH
$1,580,000
3514 E KACHINA DR, Phoenix, AZ
“This outstanding basement residence is now on the market!”
Now on the market? How would we have ever guessed? (See: it’s Listed)
Ahwatukee is an ancient Crow Nation word meaning “minivan cul de sac”. The community of Ahwatukee is veiled behind South Mountain from the rest of the Valley, tucked into a quiet crevasse, sandwiched between tall South Mountain views and the desolate no man’s land stretching its dusty skeleton to Tucson. People move out here for those views, and to park minivans.
Homes on this north shore of Kachina Drive enjoy some of the best sights Phoenix offers. South Mountain curls Northeasterly behind their lots, gracefully catching sun and shadow in a cascading light show of natural bliss. This property is on the Hot List because….LOOK AT THAT VIEW! That’s why.
The majestic mountainside’s marvelous mood enhancers should distract you from the Mike Brady designed house and its Crayola color scheme, which featured a sharpener on the box. There’d be no objection to a Chip and Joanna injection planted square between the eye shadow sockets here. This is especially apparent when we reach the pink on black Master bathroom that’s equal parts Patrick Nagel hair salon art, and Daffy Duck’s colonoscopy. The spaces are generous, everyone gets a view, and the price leaves enough left over for a trip to Lowes.
CH CH CH CHing
AH AH AH AH
WEEKEND TRAFFIC CHALLENGE
Southbound I-10 CLOSED from the mini-stack (where the 51, 202, and I-10 meet up from accidents) all the way to 40th Street. Zip. Closed. NADA! If you find yourself south of Sky Harbor, you will find yourself south of Sky Harbor for a mighty long time.
Westbound Loop 101 CLOSED from Princess Drive to Scottsdale Road. When you tumble out of Twin Peaks take Bell Road instead.
That’s it? The rest of the freeways are free ways? How about that? Lucky us!
Barnaby Jones Epilogue
It’s Friday the 13th, that special day when people can blame witchcraft for their usual slew of mistakes. Whether you’re headed up to the ol’ lake camp to hang out with your dead son’s old friends, or simply adding a machete to your masking ensemble, it’s good to remember that Friday the 13th is still better than Monday the anything. Remember, sometimes Not getting what you want, is just the stroke of luck you needed.
Peace. Namaste. Hasta La Vista baby
0 Comments