If you try to fail and succeed, which one have you done? ~ Zillow
Today’s HOT LIST Link ( click the pretty blue link below to see today’s picks ):
$4,990,000
40815 N 108TH WAY, Scottsdale, AZ
“Joie de Vivre” best describes this stunning Desert Mountain home”
In English this French phrase is pronounced “juaaa duh veevruh”, which means “Carefree”. Carefree is the town located south of Desert Mountain, making this an instantly confusing method for describing this house. This froggy phrase migrated to early America in a crate of moldy cheese, surrender wines, and nicotine scented hope. Joie de Vivre means looking at your life as something that is to be taken with great pleasure and enjoyment. In English we’d call that “exuberance”, but that word has too many syllables, or reminds us of our Ex, nobody is quite sure why nobody uses exuberant as a word.
How ya doing Stanley?
I am exuberant!
Never happens. In French this would go:
Ça va Stanley?
Sure, I’ll have another glass
If you’ve ever dreamt of building your own Bond Villain lair, then pay specific attention to this Modern Territorial French Phrased Contemporary home’s two-level layout. Upstairs are the essentials (essentiels), bedrooms with bathrooms, kitchen for serving snails or bone appetite ribs, plus dining, living, and laundry rooms. All the function (fonction) facilities found on the top floor. But then we head downstairs….A la votre! Swimming pool, game room, full bar, barbecue, gallery walls, and a temperature controlled, hermetically sealed wine room….with …what?….WINDOWS!?! (sigh)
The sun’s UV rays degrade and prematurely age wine. Only the French could design architecture that makes us drink even faster!
$850,000
6446 E Trailridge CIR 25, Mesa, AZ
“This home needs cosmetic updating but what an amazing entertainer’s dream home”
READ AS: She’s got a great personality!
Personal Perspective: Sifting through every property listing, every day, every week, of every year, for 16 years now, one develops a certain sense about cents. These days our dollars are getting stretched so thin we can see George Washington’s underwear, it’s an economize vs. agonize world. This Hot List is lovingly assembled each day in the hopes it will provide YOU with a glimpse of the market’s bottom edge. The bargain bin.
THIS house, 5,115 sq ft, 4 beds, 4.5 baths, enormous covered walkout deck, backing to a foliage riddled golf lot, enjoying tremendous mountain views, with a pool whose footprint is larger than my first apartment…FOR ONLY $850K!?! Holy Merde!
They say this place has cosmetic issues. So does half of Scottsdale! Sure the floor tile looks like a 1990’s hair salon, the kitchen counters have the appeal of a mile long scar, and there’s enough track lighting to guide a 747 in for a landing. It’s not tasteless. I’m not throwing tumbled travertine tile into any new bathrooms, but one could live with what they did here. This backyard is straight outta Condé Nast. You cannot look at this pool and not instantly see yourself floating in an innertube, sipping the life out of a strawberry daiquiri, while Kenny Chesney sings about how he’s ‘actually’ heterosexual…really, listen…
There’s a blue innertube
Floatin near the sand
Deflated by my BMI and my dark Irish tan
It sways back and forth, with the help of the winds
Seems I got my self stuck here,
Wish I’d invited some friends
If you arrived at my office with $850k today and a desire to live someplace memorable. We’d be heading to Mesa.
$1,150,000
2301 E WASHINGTON ST, Phoenix, AZ
“(Office, Industrial and Living Environment)”
Ever see “Omega Man”?
“Due to an experimental vaccine, Dr. Robert Neville is the only survivor of an apocalyptic war waged with biological weapons. The plague caused by the war has killed everyone else except for a few hundred deformed, nocturnal people calling themselves “The Family”. The plague has caused them to become angry, irrational, as well as homicidally psychotic.”
Our hero, Charlton Heston, barricades himself behind barbed wire fences in a downtown brick building, possibly because his Realtor was a piece of crap. Secluded, rural, mountaintop ranch was beyond the budget Charles? Had to live in the city did we? As the movie progresses, we learn our hero was involved in the creation of the mRNA vaccine that caused the plague and has anointed himself the savior that will save the vaccine afflicted, ya know, by way of mandated involuntary experimentation. Ahem.
I’m not suggesting there is a plague born of the current experimental vaccine headed our way….but if there is, this property nailed the timing. Post-war built brick warehouse, zoned as “Creative Living Space”, emphasis on “Living”. The designation means you can live, work, garden, manufacture weaponry, whatever you need to do to survive, all in one place. Let’s be honest, commuting during an apocalypse is a bitch. Having purchased two of these downtown warehouses myself, I can testify they are impenetrable. Our contractor had to call in special equipment to cut an elevator bay out of the slab. He’d never encountered concrete that strong.
Inside this final days fortress we find a kitchen, two bedrooms, bathrooms, office, and plenty of what they call “flex space”. A mirrored gym? Hollywood seems to think people live like this. Think of how many movies you have seen where somebody lives in an old warehouse, with twenty foot ceilings, industrial fixtures, and it’s just cool. Whether it’s Castor Troy’s hideout in “Face Off”, or Viggo Mortenson’s art space in “A Perfect Murder”, or the butt floss studio where Alex bends over backwards in “Flashdance”….welder’s must make big bucks… there is a romanticism associated with living inside a cavernous abandoned workspace.
Which loses some of its thrill the moment you exit to find ten homeless men urinating on it.
Weekend Freeway Travel Advisory – She’s a doozy, she’s one-in-a-million hurl
Southbound I-17, between Carefree Highway and Happy Valley Road (Norterra)…CLOSED (Friday – Saturday)
Northbound I-17, between Carefree Highway and Happy Valley Road (Norterra)…CLOSED (Saturday – Sunday) – There’s a two hour window Saturday night when both directions will be open!
Eastbound 101 – 7Th Street to SR-51 – CLOSED…again. Deer Valley or Bell Rd as alternates. Enjoy the wide selection of vape shops, massage parlors, and We Buy Gold emporiums.
Eastbound US 60 – Gilbert Rd to Greenfield Rd – CLOSED. Baseline or Southern as alternates. Pick the route with the most right turns.
Westbound Loop 202 – Val Vista to Gilbert Rd – CLOSED – Use this occasion to stop in at Jalapeno Bucks for a smoked shredded beef green chile burrito. Thank me later.
SR-143 – Converted to PARKING LOT – Avoid it like the Jets do endzones.
I-10 every which way but loose – Narrowed to one lane each direction, SR-85 to Verrado Way. If this was the weekend you considered touring historical downtown Buckeye’s half block stretch, reconsider, and quit doing drugs.
…That’s All Folks! Be safe out there….just not too safe (wink wink)
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