Thanksgiving: The only day Scottsdale celebrates natural breasts.
Today’s HOT LIST Link ( click the pretty blue link below to see today’s picks ):
$4,975,000
5800 N 39TH ST, Paradise Valley, AZ
“built to house a MAJOR ART COLLECTION”
Such as a Major Award!?! (Fra-jee-lee!) The designer of this 8,900 sq ft ‘running start’ works in hallways the way other artists might work in oils or clays. In the pursuit of art strewn wall space they have woven a tapestry of corridors that rival The Pentagon in terms of Fitbit battery drainage capabilities. We’re gonna need bigger shoes! I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more, just to be the man who walks 1,000 miles to answer the front door. If you’ve recently pilfered the Louvre of its contents, or over-invested in black light posters in the ‘70’s, well Keep on Truckin brother, we have found one hall of a deal here. I broke a sweat just looking through the pictures.
Iconic. Unique. Longwinded. Who can’t relate?
$423,000
12819 W SEVILLE DR, Sun City West, AZ
“This home challenges comparison!!”
On Guard Comparison! Ho! Ha ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Thrust! Most homes in Sun City West tip the scales at 1,200 sq ft or so. Someone must have spiked these blueprints with blue pills, because this single level Hobby Hut unfurls to 2,760 sq ft. This mini-mansion expansion maintains the modesty of the typical two bed, two bath lifestyle indigenous to this sunset civilization’s sensibilities. Everyone reaches the age when wisdom trims down the guest list.
With Thanksgiving less than 48 hours away, today is a day to reflect on family. When we think of family we think of our parents. When we think of our parents we think, “Man, they’re getting up there.” When we think “up there”, we’re thinking Heaven, which is found just beyond the Sun City West exit, so exclaims the choir of Ambulance sirens. If your parents are hobbyists, perhaps into archery, or falconry, or collecting harpoons, something that requires that final frontier of space…this symphony of sewing rooms might be just what the Doctor and the Hoveround dealership ordered.
$1,350,000
6905 E MARIPOSA DR, Scottsdale, AZ
“The master bedroom is large but cozy”
Like an elastic waistband for your life! Back to Market today, and likely for a limited time, we find this multi-generational gem sandwiched between Fashion Square and the Phoenician. Previously, on another episode of the Hot List, this single level sweetheart suits the family’s needs while its competently complete casita conveys comfortable creature conditions for close relatives. This humble homestead is within walking distance to everything labeled “Scottsdale”. In one elongated stroll you can top Camelback Mountain, clink drinks at Postino, polish off a steak at Roaring Fork, and be back home before the meter trips over 3 miles.
What’s that location worth?
More than this price tag.
THANKFULNESS
We often show gratitude the way a woman tries on a pretty dress, put it on, then take it off again. Thanksgiving is the day we are reminded of how ungratefully we act the other 364 days. One year ago, Thanksgiving week, I made the decision to return to Real Estate. After a two-year hiatus where I attempted to convince the world I could do something else, it had become obvious the world did not agree, so I came back….Here. But Here was gone.
WHAT I LEARNED: This job is insanity! This year’s housing market has been more nerve wracking than watching the Three Stooges diffusing a bomb in a haunted house during a thunderstorm. We have big tech corporations manipulating the housing inventory, in full public view, while Joe sixpack sat home making floor angels in spilled piles of government handout cash. The shade of purposely misunderstood rent moratoriums swallowed any light that had managed to escape the dark suck-cloud of COVID shutdowns. We now live in a valley of empty parking lots and dark buildings while my fellow commercial agents nod like bobble head dolls on an off-balance clothes washer, preaching that everything is fine, sporting the nervous grin of a travel agent handing Charlie Sheen two tickets to Bolivia.
And every morning at 3am I spring out of bed, ask my wife, I literally propel off the mattress like Wile E Coyote stepping on his own trap…to see what happens next. What will we find today? Where does this story go? Who can we help prosper from this historically hyperactive hurricane of hallucinogenic housing hustles?
That’s you.
Thank YOU for helping Me get back to This. I love you like a boy loves an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle, and yes, I will shoot my eye out with it. I hope I can help you when the day comes that you can use such help. I wish I could hug you right now. Each of you…well, not you Don. Awkward. Please be safe this Holiday. Love your family, enjoy and appreciate the time you get with them, they are what counts. God Bless you, see you next week.
By the way, if your turkey isn’t thawing by now, you’re screwed.
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