It’s not your problems. It’s your attitude towards your problems.
Today’s HOT LIST Link ( click the pretty blue link below to see today’s picks ):
$1,399,000
13212 N 17th PL, Phoenix, AZ
“maple wood flooring & stunning neutral tones”
Stunning neutral. Is that more like “Fabulously drab!” or “Incredibly indistinct!”? We’re going with the latter as this hilltop haven has the ambiguous street presence of a package delivery from the Adam and Eve Adult Toy Store. Giant slabs of beige surrounding a Wonkavator entry door that could morph into Optimus Prime at any moment is the kind of curb appeal that drops hints of mystery such as, “Why did you do that?” Is this where the Avengers live? Are we at Chuck E Cheese?
Once inside the hatch, these southwestern views will knock you face first into the maple floor boards. BOOM! Mmm, tastes like maple? Generous panes in the glass never let the occupants forget they’re parked on the perfect patch of view, overlooking Moon Valley and the North Mountain preserve. Below deck you can witness the spectacle of Lookout Mountain’s elevated 13th tee box, which sits 120 feet above the green, giving people of all shapes and sizes the feeling they can drive like Tiger Woods…right down the hillside.
Too soon?
$350,000
1604 W CHANUTE PASS, Phoenix, AZ
“RIDICULOUSLY AMAZING BACKYARD OASIS”
Tastefully assembled Single level, 3 beds, 2 baths, and Den, parked in a cute community less than 7 miles from downtown Phoenix: $350k. That’s a crowd pleaser. You’d never guess the largest lot in the neighborhood lurks beyond this petite curb presence and penitentiary gate. Out back we find a swimming hole from the, town of Bedrock, it’s a page right of history. Botanical garden wonderment in every direction, no neighbors in sight. $350k!?! For this much much!?! Gee whiz!
The listing agent states this “72 Hour Sale” launches on 11/20/21, just 384 hours after this Listing debuted. Has there been a 72 hour sale that only lasted 72 hours? Someone should buy them a timer. The Sellers are accepting offers beforehand, reserving the right to “accept the right offer” before the 72 hour stopwatch gets clicked. If you know anybody looking for a beautiful bargain, call me, we need to hustle.
$725,000
6916 W Villa Theresa DR, Glendale, AZ
“Home has an amazing Mediterranean resort feel”
Welcome to Ritz-Carlton Beirut!
We’ve been watching this project property’s list price fall for a month now, and it’s not quite there yet….but today it dropped close enough for hand grenades. Hidden behind this Muppet colored McDonaldland mayhem is a lot of house on a lot of lot. The ‘strange’ dial got turned to 10 with its flypaper covered courtyard and an interior that boasts every color nobody else would buy. This is no turnkey dinner. I’m too long in the tooth decay to try and explain the fireplace arbor contraption, though it surely pairs well with goat hair chaps and a viking helmet. Why this floor has more depressions than a Jets fan is a mystery machine as well. Look, this house has more question marks than the Riddler’s pajamas, but buried treasure always requires some shoveling.
I love it for the house it could be, and for the price it almost is!
NEWS: RED HAWK GARAGE SUITES BREAKS GROUND
See Our New Video here: https://youtu.be/_bm4VJGYJzU
We’re proud to announce that Red Hawk Garage Suites has officially broken ground, champagne bottle met ship’s hull, and we are off to the races, figuratively and physically. If you are unfamiliar with the concept of luxury garage suites, you may own a vagina. It’s a guy thing. Boys, toys, and noise, these garage suites are where people with stuff stuff their stuff. These aren’t some tin roof shanty town shacks from the Public Storage gene pool. These are commercial grade concrete and steel vaults, custom assembled with every imaginable amenity from bathrooms to bar rooms, as well as car lifts and mezzanines.
The project is located on Happy Valley Road, east of the I-17, the perfect placement for the adventure minded madman with motorized mechanical machinery.
I am the Sales Team Leader, if you’re interested in learning more please drop me a note and I will enliven your inbox with our motivation minded marketing package. These things are so awesome….how awesome are they?
They’re nearly half sold out already, and we just broke ground! Contact me for more details. Sales pitch [end] Go watch the video.
Today is a very good day just to have a good day. Let’s go!
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