All power corrupts! But computers don’t run on enthusiasm.
Today’s HOT LIST Link ( click the pretty blue link below to see today’s picks ):
$8,800,00.88
3420 E MARLETTE AVE, Paradise Valley, AZ
“Don’t just come home.
Arrive.”
Butt puckerrrrrrr….CRINGE!
His words struck me like a shiver looking for a spine to run up. Welcome to Friday where this Hot List doesn’t just show up…it ARRIVES. Hello Clarice. This Paradise Valley vision of virginity gives us over 8,000 square feet of Modern Marvel mechanics such as: boob tassel ceiling fans, 4-door wine vault, and a FIVE seat movie theater (otherwise known as Prime seating). If you own an Eight Million dollar home, but your fingers outnumber your friends, this Bridge of the Starship Enterprise seating arrangement…yes, I counted… will always grant you the last beer in the six pack.
This BRAND NEW BUILD’s interior is more black and white than a Dragnet plot, but take a moment to enjoy the inspired tile work which acts as a flip book of the latest trends none of us can afford. Outside we find valley views, a lazy river for anorexics, launchable palm trees (it says Soaring!) and a poolside timeout pit (Pic #75).
This is odd. You can plainly see where the sixth movie theater chair was supposed to be. Looks like they removed it. WHAT DID YOU DO SIX?
$400,000
15244 W MADISON ST, Goodyear, AZ
“ready for your landscaping personalization”
Read as: “Here, YOU figure this out”. Beyond this 50 shades of Grey Goodyear gathering place we find a GARGANTUAN backyard fit for a barren. This neighborhood’s geometric border created an insulated border in between the bright lights and the far unlit unknown, which grants this backyard a football field of rock farming space, surrounded by single level homes. That’s a find! The current owners moonscaped this lunar surface in a caliphate motif, rocks on dirt on rocks, positioning the trampoline directly over a slab of hardened concrete. Boing Boing splat.
Who says child discipline is dead? This much yard for this little price is a once in a lifetime discovery, as it’s the only one of its kind. Cha-Ching!
$496,900
17601 N 2ND ST, Phoenix, AZ
Purchased for $518,250 on 10/7/21
36 days later…
Debuts today at $496,900
$21,350 less than purchase price
Value drop = $593 per day!
THIS HAS BEEN A ZILLOW-MATH MOMENT
Zillow! Proof you can shove your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass simultaneously.
And I want. And I need. And I love. Animal!
$2,999,990.99
5333 E Palomino RD, Phoenix, AZ
“GREAT REMODEL OPPORTUNITY!”
THREE MILLION DOLLAR FIXER UPPER.
Which can’t be fixed. Rather, it just needs to be embraced for who it is, and who it wants to be! This home’s eclectic company inspired interior is what happens when H.G Wells, Jules Verne, and the Pope discover the bottom of the Communion wine bottle. Hidden doors, bowed ceilings, and more mathematical improbabilities than an M.C. Escher acid trip, this home is no remodel opportunity at all. This is art! You either love it or hate it. This home represents creativity unleashed, abandoned by structure and the boundaries of style, free to flutter about in walls of stained glass, sacrificial firepits, and more oddball arches than a cat’s spine. This may be the strangest home to ever grace a Hot List. Welcome home, home.
If walls could talk, these walls would sound like Gary Busey yodeling the chorus of “Mother’s Little Helper” on the tail end of a peyote bender, with glass marbles in his mouth, which he stole from burglar midgets at a seedy Jack in the Box on the outskirts of Las Cruces, during a hailstorm…while wearing only Dolphin shorts, roller skates, and a rainbow headband.
Art.
WEEKEND TRAFFIC WATERBOARDING ADVISORY
EB Loop 101 – Seventh Street to Tatum – CLOSED – As usual. The logical alternative, Deer Valley Road, is more torn up than Alec Baldwin’s NRA card, making Bell Road everybody’s weekend parking lot
EB US 60 – Gilbert to Greenfield – CLOSED – Again. Remember when these weekend closures only lasted one weekend?
EB I-10 – Narrowed to two lanes, at various nerve endings, all weekend long. Who needs to arrive in Buckeye on time anyhow? (that’s your cue Nobody)
PLEASE Remember: Everyone you know is fighting a battle you know nothing about.
Be kind. Be there.
Make that phone call.
You know the one.
Peace
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