Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
Today’s HOT LIST Link ( click the pretty blue link below to see today’s picks ):
$1,500,000
14011 S Canyon DR, Phoenix, AZ
“this home features a climate controlled, private indoor 25 yard shooting range”
Welcome to the intersection of “Live, Love, Laugh” and “Ready, Aim, Fire!”. She wants a large backyard with incredible views, he wants a home, home with a range. If you think the idea of gun safety is carrying more than one, you’ll have a blast with this home’s indoor firing range and gunsmithing shop. Considering the cost of bullets these days, the contents of these ammo racks might be worth the List price. This 5,000 sq ft Adventureland sits on 4 Acres of sound deadening South Mountain hillside, looking out to Ahwatukee below. “Ahwatukee” is of course an old Native American word meaning “You’ll put your eye out”.
A client took me to Scottsdale Gun Club last week and I was flabbergasted by the cost of warning shots. These days lightening your load entails lightening your wallet, so an indoor range makes cents. Picking up spent shells technically counts as squats, so it’s a home gym write off as well. The smell of spent powder is aromatherapy, this is practically a day spa! Let’s be honest, can a father really put a price tag on this level of daughter’s date deterrent? That girl will be dropped by 9:59pm every damn time. That’s trigger happiness!
Life is about kicking ass, not kissing it. Criminals obey gun laws the way politicians obey spending limits. So if you think a dozen bullseye placements qualifies as ‘group therapy; then this property is worth a taking a shot at.
$475,000
43817 N 14TH ST, New River, AZ
“Tons of potential.”
Heaven knows what the weight capacity of “potential” actually is, but this New River ranch is sitting on an acre and a half while priced at less than $100 per ft. That, my friends, is at least ONE MEGATON of potential! Go big or go home. This jolly rancher has seen better days, but haven’t we all? We’ve got everything we had twenty years ago, except now it’s all lower. This home was built in 1975, and it’s been downhill from there. With Seven bedrooms for every brother, and Five bathrooms to remodel, this could be the first day of the rest of your life savings.
A Realtor’s word is as good as their bail bonds, we must warn you that these interior pictures experienced more digital manipulation than a prostate exam. The furniture is fake. The window frames are fake. Even the flooring is fake. Nice work Spielberg! The fleet of Air Wicks in the outlets is genuine. This place is to deferred maintenance what Muhammad Ali was to boxing. The milk carton in the fridge has a picture of the Lindbergh baby on it. So ok, the place could use a few additions, like a carpenter, plumber, and painter.
So what? At this price the place could be on fire and it would be the best deal in the market. This is stealing. Call for more details.
“Won’t Last Long” applies to more than the condition.
$900,000
2027 E ROSE GARDEN LN, Phoenix, AZ
“Electric iron gates at the entrance and censored exit “
Facebook makes Exit gates? We believe the Listing Agent meant to say the exit has “sensors”…
Censored –(adjective) – Having had objectionable content removed.
Eh, depending on the guest, they may be right. Hidden around our valley are a number of Buried Treasure Spots, areas that share a special secret sauce, being close to everything but seen by nothing. Areas like Riordan Ranch, Scarlett Canyon, or Lost Canyon. The places people drive by every day, but never see.
Heading south on Cave Creek Road from Tatum Ranch, you pass the remote control airplane airfield, the Cave Creek Dam, Deer Valley Road, then the bizarre Dunkin Donuts-Burger-King-Salads To Go triangle of dietary dilemmas, and if you turn West at the QT station and drive straight to the end of the road….you arrive at this house. Tucked against the hill, shielded from view by a neighborhood of petite suburban Xerox homes, you’ll discover a hidden enclave of thirty private ranches sitting on acre+ lots. It’s a smorgasborg of old ranches, new customs, with a few hybrid home-business properties thrown in for good measure.
Remember, potential is measured in tons.
This property is a shining example of what you get back there. Privacy, freedom (No HOA), and enough space to spend the rest of your days expanding the property. You get all the creature features of a Cave Creek ranch, yet the Loop 101 is just two minutes from the front door. You can be on the 51 in less than four minutes, airport in twenty. Location squared!
It’s raining outside again!?!
Did Seattle relocate?
0 Comments