Remember their birthday, but never their age.
Today’s HOT LIST Link ( click the pretty blue link below to see today’s picks ):
$2,700,000
2018 SMOKETREE DR, Carefree, AZ
“’Spirit Rock” is a guided meditation”
Guided Mediation? That’s more ironic than asking the Librarian where the Self-Help section is located.
Meditation – (verb) – A practice where an individual focuses their mind on a particular object, thought, or activity – to become mentally clear and emotionally calm.
Relax.
Focus.
Find your Center.
Welcome to our first ever Hot List Group Meditation. I’m so glad you could join. Today’s personal journey to the corner of calm and clarity will be guided, by me, yes Hello there, it’s so good to virtually see you…through the screen…whatever….ahhhh, Before we embark on this pleasurably peaceful path we need to be aware that people with heart defects or those enjoying pregnancy should abstain from this ride. Great. Thank you.
Let’s begin.
Breathe slowly. Breathe in….2….3….4….Hold. Ok, now release exhale…..2…..4….7….sorry, that’s not a very relaxing count.
While you are breathing slowly, I’ll direct your breathing awareness to the different stages of the breath. Focus on each stage. Please concentrate.
First, notice the air as it enters your nostrils. The way the air cools the walls of your nostrils. Feel the breath as it passes through your nostrils and pours down your throat. The air passes through your nose, then turns down your throat, then fills your lungs inside your chest cavity. Feel that? Feel the process. Breathe the air in…..hold….now exhale, feel the breath rising from within you, releasing the air back into the world. Now repeat this process a billion times or you will die. Immediately. Excruciatingly. Dead. Relaxed?
This house is located in “The Boulders” neighborhood. This house is surrounded by boulders. There is a giant boulder inside this house. ARE WE RELAXED NOW!?! What could be more blissfully serene than an asteroid crashed into the living room? Ahhh. Living. Room. Room to live. Breathe in. Breathe out. Rock. Paper. Scissors. Count your breaths as they flow gently from your lungs. The great room is a study in earthly elements, BECAUSE THERE IS A ROCK STUCK IN IT, which grants us peace and tranquility as nothing is softer and more inviting than a giant rock. Mentally clear. Emotionally calm. Yes, calm down. Just….look lady, calm down. Hey, YOU, calm. the F. down. Now. RIGHT NOW! Don’t give me that look.
Relax. Don’t do it. When you want to go to it. Relax. Don’t do it. When you want to come.
The Arizona Regional Multiple Listing System is Suffering from Maniacal Maintenance Issues – Hot List content may suffer as a result. It’s like Day Eight of the MLS system being nearly unusable and my hair is detaching in clumps so if I lose my mind in one of these rants
Breathe slowly. Breathe in….2….3….4….Hold. Ok, now release exhale…..2…..4….7
$700,000
2226 E Hale ST, Mesa, AZ
“A rare home that can be move-in ready or upgraded”
We can take it as-is OR modify it!?! How unique. Honest Engine: This home’s flooring will cause flashbacks to 8th grade geometry class graph paper. There is not a human on this planet who will greet such tile without a scraper, chisel, and unbridled eagerness. However, once that floor is finished, there’s a heck of a home here. If you’re a Buyer on that lonely road called the $600k-$800k range, Mesa is worth a good long look.
Irrigated Half Acre Lot
Single Level Home
Guest House
They do not offer this combo meal in Scottsdale for less than $1.5 million. Old Town Scottsdale is fifteen minutes from this front door. Sure, there’s some updating to do. The tile. The McDonald’s arches. Raising the sunken rooms. But in $20k-$30k this home becomes outstanding, as long as you destroy the floor graph…..UH OH….plot the following quadrants….(-5, 5)…(3,-8)…remember it’s x before y….if y=25+10 and x=10-25 then the representative angle….
KILL IT!!!
$750,000
46 W PALM LN, Phoenix, AZ
“5 story brick townhome with a commercial elevator.”
This price is not a misprint. This the lowest price EVER offered for a Chateau on Central Brownstone. EVER.
FLASHBACK to 2008: I was invited to the Grand Opening of this development. They sent a limo, there was a red carpet, live band, news vans, drinks, free food, it was quite the ritzy shindig! However, they only had two units completed, and neither of them was 100% completed. We couldn’t enjoy the patios as the tile guy was only half done. Worse yet, the electrician had walked off the job that day, leaving the elevators inoperable. These suckers are FIVE stories tall (Four floors and a basement.) So I grabbed a handful of complimentary Bud Lights, a plastic plate of hors d’oeuvres, and parked myself in the Penthouse. The price tag was as steep as their stairs, thus the Buyer crowd were mostly “mature” citizens. One by one they’d reach the Penthouse, sweaty, exhausted, white tennies throbbing, they’d do a quick 360 glance, and back down they’d go.
At that Grand Opening they were offering these townhomes at $1.2 million each. I had guesstimated their value at $800k. I nearly gagged on a cocktail weenie when the developer announced the list prices. They had precisely ZERO sales that night. The development went out of business soon thereafter. Several developers and a decade later this neighborhood was finally completed.
So I thought.
Today. Right here. Right now. This is the first time, in the history of the Brownstones, that we’ve come across a well-priced unit.
So what’s the catch?
It’s gray shell. These pictures are from other units. This unit for sale, for $750k, is a shell. Exterior walls and empty space between. I apologize, I just now realized this…it’s not really Hot List worthy when its uninhabitable and $750k. I need to read faster.
MONDAY HAS ARRIVED.
Let’s go find Friday
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