Forgiveness is the ultimate strength….and it’s about to be tested
Today’s HOT LIST Link ( click the pretty blue link below to see today’s picks ):
$12,950,000
6149 E INDIAN BEND RD, Paradise Valley, AZ
“Vanishing floor to ceiling windows”
Uhhhhh…..WOW!
You can do magic. You can have anything your heart desires.
Fellow structural nerds, this is the one! Stupendous! Ingenious! This is why they locked us in the cellar with Erector Sets and .07 Pentels. Note how the designers utilized the fireplace stem walls to carry the cantilevering steel frames, which grant the ceilings permission to float in space. The roof just hangs up there, suspended in air, as if it’s constructed from some helium filled invisible substance, such as National Debt. We see thousands of homes every day while weaving the Hot List into shape. We’ve run across icons and masterpiece theaters, but this may be the fairest of them all.
Can a $12 million residence be underpriced? The principal secret of aesthetics is an adherence to simplicity. Strike the chords, play the harmony, and wise restraint creates a vision that passes instantaneously through knowledge, becoming feeling, emotion, a whisper into the soul that goodness has arrived. Voila! I think I’m in love. And I can’t get enough!
*If your erection lasts longer the 4 hours, please thank the architect
$875,000
3535 E FAIRFIELD CIR, Mesa, AZ
“luxury vinyl plank flooring”
Somehow, those words met. We encountered this magical flooring substance recently at a north Phoenix home. It looks like wood. It feels like wood, with miniscule surface ridges riding along the flows of the grain. But walking on it presents a strange Kleenex soft feeling. Bouncy. You feel lighter than Tony Romo’s vocabulary. The mad scientists of the GMO have done it again! Sure, we tend to shut down the world when China’s genetic wizards blend bat guano with flu season. We might wince when unwrapping the butcher’s paper to find chicken breasts the size of a human torso. We know science burned the rule book after Jurassic Park. It’s cool. Like the proton said to the electron; Why be so negative? Let us embrace these new GMO plastic wood floors! We’re saving the planet’s forests, by drilling for petroleum!
We live in a world where we can choose between porcelain tile wood floors, or these synthetic polyvinyl chloride floors…ya know, oil mixed with chlorine and paper…ahem, from trees…a polymer known as PVC, which of course was invented by the Nazis…
Ya know what. Let’s just enjoy the materials and maybe not look too deeply into how they came to be.
$4,995,000
10755 E STONEY LN, Scottsdale, AZ
“Timeless Arizona Contemporary home built by Manship Homes”
Manship homes.
Are we allowed to say that?
It’s rather gender specific. Man + Ship = Old Spice whistle, or Gordon’s Fisherman, or some non-non-binary gender fluidity character in a thick New England sweater, steel wool beard, and requisite peg leg who smells like grandpa. This is illegal toilet-seat-up verbiage territory folks. Manship? This title needs to be clipped, taped, and tucked into WeShip, or TheyShip, or Xiship. We drive Priuses now you Troglodytes! Pass me some avocado toast and a wheat grass green tea, pretty please Caitlin?
Welcome to this X and Y Chromosome friendly residence which can fit multiple narratives, can walk down stairs alone or in pairs, and is fun for a girl or boy, or both, at the same time. Pass the duct tape. Enjoy the gender fluidity of HARD SLATE FLOORS, SOLID BRICK DRIVEWAYS, HAND CARVED MARBLE, AND A BUILT IN WOODSHOP WITH COMPRESSORS, BAND SAW, RADIAL ARM SAW, TABLE SAW, DRILL PRESS, FOR CUTTING AND DRILLING AND PENETRATING…
While also providing plenty of dainty space for your collection of rainbow hued dining cushions. O-M-G! The fireplace is open flame….MORE POWER!…open flame!….MORE POWER!!!
(we interrupt this broadcast before this dipshit gets himself in trouble)
WEEKEND TRAFFIC UPDATE
Avoid the 101 between Tatum and Pima
Avoid the US 60 between the I-10 and Loop 101
Avoid the I-17, relentlessly
ADOT is determined to wreck weekend travel as we know it. These closures are part of an ongoing acclimation project for the onslaught of Californians.
There’s no place like home
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